i love you , boy

Monday, March 03, 2008 ' 9:56 PM

It's harder to get through the days

Listening to: Sorry by Buckcherry

Little Susie
by Michael Jackson

Somebody killed little Susie
The girl with the tune
Who sings in the daytime at noon
She was there screaming
Beating her voice in her doom
But nobody came to her soon

A fall down the stairs
Her dress torn
Oh the blood in her hair
A mystery so sullen in air
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care,
Oh the blood in her hair

Everyone came to see
The girl that now is dead
So blind stared the eyes in her head
And suddenly a voice from the crowd said
This girl lived in vain
Her face bear such agony, such strain

But only the man from next door
Knew Little Susie and how he cried
As he reached down
To close Susie's eyes
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
Oh the blood in her hair

It was all for God's sake
For her singing the tune
For someone to feel her despair
To be damned to know hoping is dead and you're doomed
Then to scream out
And nobody's there

She knew no one cared

Father left home, poor mother died
Leaving Susie alone
Grandfather's soul too had flown
No one to care
Just to love her
How much can one bear
Rejecting the needs in her prayers

Neglection can kill
Like a knife in your soul
Oh it will
Little Susie fought so hard to live
She lie there so tenderly
Fashioned so slenderly
Lift her with care
So young and so fair

I love this song, but it's terribly sad. I cried when I played it on my iPod today. ):

Math paper today. Didn't know how to do 37 marks worth out of 50. I stayed back in school a while to have lunch with the bowlers, then I went off to United Square to study in Starbucks by myself. School is a place where I seriously cannot study. But it wasn't productive today. I spent 5 hrs just sitting, stoning, falling asleep, thinking about everything, almost crying together with the sad songs playing on my iPod. You know when bad things happen all at one go, it just magnifies the hurt and depression that you experience. Not that anything really big happened today, but then it's the small things which tell you how much you mean to a person right? I'm so oversensitive and I hate how I'm always so affected by all the small things. Urgh!

Put your money where your mouth is.
I find it so hard to trust anyone anymore. Whatever happened to only saying what you mean and walking the talk? Why is it that I feel that no one is even trying here! Suspicions, animosity, nonchalance, disappointment rolled up into one big whirlpool which I dive into everyday. I miss IJ! Is it just me? Am I the only one feeling this way. I sat at the window beside the waterfall fountain today and I had this constant imagery that when I'm falling, and no one would even bother to save me. Actually, I'm not sure where all these negative emotions stem from. And most of the time, I don't get much logic from my words. They just come out. But I know what it means to me. I really miss the cheery and bubbly me in primary school. People reading this, just take it that I'm emoing again. No one gives anymore.

Krystle and Sherlyn were at Starbucks studying too! All of us from IJTP. Hahaha. It was freaking cold even though I was sitting outside wearing my jacket zipped up. I don't understand how they can study inside Starbucks for so many hours!

Oh yes. I'm supposed to blog about Stef.
Me: Hey are you going to look for Calvin later?
Stef: Hey! Haha nope sorry.

Hours later...
Me: Are you going for the bandage thing on sat?
Stef: Haha nope, sorry.

Her replies all standard maybe. -_-

I'm going to study with Weeyong again tomorrow. Arrgh chemistry and physics ):

SSP here I come. I love talking to Flory because she makes life seem so much better by encouraging me with simple sentences with big meanings (:

XOXO