i love you , boy

Tuesday, April 21, 2009 ' 12:33 AM

#764

Thank you Mandy.

Seems it's always like this
Never ending
I can't stay away
And I take my chances
Put my heart out
Hopin' it won't break
When that moment comes
It wipes away all of the tears I've cried
As it takes me over
Elevates me here
Gives me wings to fly

Sometimes when nothin' turns out right
I wonder if it's worth the fight
Sometimes I wish that I could say
That I've had enough
Still I keep on goin' back for more
Cause there's one thing that I can't get tired of
And that's chasing love

We just give and give in hope of getting
Something in return
All the times I've fallen
Even though I knew that I'd get hurt
I'm still looking for you
Reachin' out
Still waiting for my turn

And wherever it may lead me I'll follow I'm there
I'm not givin' in I'm not givin' up
I've been waitin' all my life for this moment to share
I'll keep hangin' on and no matter what
I'll be chasing love

Goodbye. I'm not blogging anymore.

XOXO

Wednesday, April 08, 2009 ' 10:59 PM

#763

Listening to: Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics

I've got an overpowering urge to pack my bags, leave Singapore, leave everything behind and start a new life. There's something oddly comforting about being forced to be alone. I have no idea how I grew up to become such an idiot. When I was young I was the one making people upset and yet I didn't care. Is this karma full circle? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Just probably my last entry here, then boom boom pow I'm gone.

Work's been enjoyable because of Cheong and the delicious food (: going out with friends has been good. The rest, simply awful. Here's one for the disney children:

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

Fairytales are so lovely because they give you hope. Pity, when we come of age we also become more realistic. Awwww, how sad.

XOXO

Friday, April 03, 2009 ' 1:21 AM

#762

Listening to: The Only Way I Know How To Feel by Boys Like Girls

Before you let me fall
Kill me so I don't feel it at all
Push my body up against the wall
And pick your poison
Cause everything feels wrong
And I don't know where I belong

Take me for granted
Make me feel used
Leave me in pieces
Misery is company
Cause I know that it's real
I've learned to love the pain
Cause that's the only way that I know how to feel

Maybe it's a phase
Maybe I'll break out of it someday
Maybe this is just my twisted fate
I always feel like everything is wrong
And I don't know where I belong

To feel your arms around my neck
I'm suffocating with regret
From all the wasted hours spent
Believing I was never meant
To touch the face of something real
These sewn up scars will never heal
But I put down a deal
Cause that's only way that I know how to feel

Someone told me once, that not knowing certain things will be better for you. Every single day, I understand that logic more, and more. When I first heard it, I was so skeptical toward that idea, because I just didn't believe that ignorance could be bliss. Touching on another point which a friend brought up, don't you feel somewhat awkward when you find out things about your friend, say Friend A from Friend B, where A is supposedly closer to you? You face this moment where you go "oh, I had no idea". I guess it works both ways, but on certain days, things just seem to crash down all around. You thought you mattered, but maybe you're worth so much lesser than that.

Thank goodness for you, Cheong!

XOXO