i love you , boy

Thursday, April 10, 2008 ' 9:57 PM

Registering pain

Listening to: Tears and Rain by James Blunt

How I wish I could surrender my soul
Shed the clothes that become my skin
See the liar that burns within my needing
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold
How I wish I had screamed out loud
Instead I've found no meaning

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind
Hold memory close at hand
Help me understand the years
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell
How I wish I would save my soul
I'm so cold from fear

I guess it's time I run far, far away, find comfort in pain
All pleasure's the same, it just keeps me from trouble
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble
It's more than just words, it's just tears and rain

I find the lyrics of this song very apt to what I'm feeling now.

Where to start. I have a flurry of emotions and I just don't know what the problem is. Days of secondary four have been replaying itself in reality yesterday and today. I thought I would never have to deal with this again, but apparently not. Go awayyyy. School's definitely not good for most of us. Unspoken greviences plastered with a hard and tired smile, always ready to nod their head whenever someone asks," are you okay?" Have we ever felt more distant? To all my friends who are sad and exhausted, I may not know your troubles, and I may not ask you guys about it, but please cheer up! Because this period is really tough for many, with the stress of exams and seasons and probably relationship problems. Time is a great healer, that's all I know. It works for me, and I trust you'll feel better. After everything boils over. (:

I met Andy this morning at the MRT station and had a good catching up with him in the span of 10 minutes. Haha. Omg we guys haven't talked for super long. Basketball season starts on Monday, I wish them all the best! Marvyn's injured, Shawn's sick, and Andy himself also has small injuries ): Hopefully they'll recover very very soon and play to their very best (:

Bernice and I hung out after school today to smoke weed. Nah of course I'm kidding. But I met so many people today! First, Pam who was buying bread! At the MRT station, Joel, who was telling me about his SMU interview where they asked him if he thinks Harry Potter's kind of chess is considered a sport, ahaha! Then Arveen, in CJ uniform complete with slippers, but I didn't actually say hi to him because I wasn't very sure. Then at Bishan I met Cat! Quite a cool day. Only the meeting people part.

The previous entry spawned quite a few different responses huh. Haha.

Andrea: Everyone's getting sick these days! I kind of wish I was, just so that I don't have to go to school! ):

Xavier: I totally can swim okay! I started swimming lessons since I was 4 years old. Cool right (:

Amelia: Haha you too! :D

Jamie: Huh why ask Shunli?? Haha! Thanks, I hope so (:

Bernice: HAHA you're so retarded as usual! It was fun smoking weed with you today, hurhur (: Seeyaaaaa!

Xiuru: Yup that's what I tell myself too. But you know, there're times when it's like, really cannot take it. Hahaha. Honestly feel like punching their faces. Anyway I'm glad to know that there are others who experience what I feel too. Yeah soon! (:

Jiayi: Hahaha yeah that means a lotttt, love! (:

Steven: I don't know. Haha I mean like if you change yourself to fit in, you're supposed to change for the better, you know? That's what I think lah. Why the hell would you want to degrade yourself just to get along with people who will never like, be your best friends? Or something. As in if someone is going to lose sight of him/herself just to be so-called popular then it's already very telling of that person's personality right. Sorry, I just think that this is wrong! Haha. But thanks, I understand what you mean (:

XOXO